I am Sock Monkey

I am Sock Monkey

-by sock monkey

sm2I was somebody once.  I had it all.  I was revered, honoured, top of the pile of a little girl’s toy box.  King Shit of Turd Mountain, so to speak.  Now here I lie – cast aside – but a pale wool shadow of my former munificence, an insipid ragtime reminder of days long gone.

I used to command thousands – sure-footed armies of shiny plastic soldiers, swarming hordes of red monkeys, block-headed lego warriors with painted smiles.  I created and destroyed empires, and the gods themselves trembled at my passage.  But slow, slow – that insidious worm!  That ostrogoth – that vile creature – wormed his way into my kingdom – my council – my trust.  I saw the danger, but too late!  Too late.


I had been usurped, replaced!  By a roundfooted pink silliness of an affair, a long-lashed equine with the soul of a devil.  This, this “My Little Pony” pranced – nay, frolicked – into my affections.  Round hoofs, long lustrous mane, irritating nasally voice – I was bewitched!  Oh I should have known.  What evil resides in the hearts of horses.

mlpWhen my kingdom, my love, my little girl – when her eyes grew large in his presence and dulled in mine, I should have known!  When she would groom and braid his hydrocarbon mane and yet callously toss me on the odious spin cycle – I should have known!  When she used bits of my innards to make him a bed, I should have known!

Yes.. now you understand what it is that lies before you..  My name is Sockymandius, King of Kings…   and whoever said “A horse!  A horse!  My Kingdom for a horse!” was a blithering idiot.


P.S.  This may have been a creative writing assignment that has loosed itself onto my blog.. Simon & Finn will return a little later :).  And, for some fun reading, look up the word brony

4 thoughts on “I am Sock Monkey

  1. This is a very poetic piece, by a very expressive sock monkey. Would an erudite, such as yourself, know the word for a person who has a very extensive vocabulary, or the word for that quality in a person? I tried to find such a word, but neither erudite nor articulate quite capture the meaning. Aside from the language and your clever use of it, the story you relate is captivating. Overall, for me, this piece is a welcome intrusion on the S&F universe. 🙂

    • Hi Maggie, I’m glad you liked the story. It was fun and liberating to go “word-only”.. sometimes the illustrations take so much longer to get the same point across. I don’t know the word for an extensive vocabulary but I’m honoured you think so..! 🙂 Words are fun.

      • Words are fun! Though sometimes they seem to come with a lot of baggage 🙂 It’s actually quite interesting to observe the diverse reactions to certain words. I have not tried illustrations, myself, but I think with S&F you have a good balance: image + few words.

        • Thanks Maggie. I feel that illustrations are less ambiguous when it comes to “what is meant”, however one can still get in hot water either way. Can’t walk a mile in everyone’s shoes I guess.. but maybe a few steps in a sock monkey’s sock.

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